Right now, I'm watching this movie on Lifetime called The Pregnancy Pact.  Although, the movie is fictional, it is inspired by true events.  Wow, this movie is making me think a lot about the unrealistic expectations that parents, churches, and society place on teens.  It's a sad day when teens can't have open communication with their parents and ask for condoms.  Beyond asking for condoms, teens should be able to have open dialogue with their parents, because that's the real issue.  Condoms and birth control definitely help, but without education and open discussions, it ain't going to help!

I also watched Bristol Palin on Oprah.  I listened as she confirmed her statement that, she will not have sex until marriage.  Really?!?! Oprah even gave her an opportunity to retract her statement.  Like Oprah said, who's to say that you'll meet that person, and even get married.  There are No guarantees.  That's definitely one way to look at it.  Don't get me wrong, abstinence is a great thing.  I use to say that I was going to abstain until marriage, but it didn't happen. 

The odds of an already sexually active teen abstaining until marriage is kinda slim, lets face it! But, that's just my opinion. 

The problem is, some parents worry so much about telling teens to wait 'til marriage until they have sex, and it's simply unrealistic.  When parents place these standards on teens, in my opinion, it isn't practical.  Yes, I grew up in a religious household, and I completely understand why parents and churches tell children to wait until marriage.  Sex can be risky, it comes with serious consequences, and there are also emotional factors of having sex too early (psychologically, it can be damaging), but the truth of the matter is that, children today are different than the children in the 1940s, 50s, or 60s.  The time period that our parents grew up in is not the same.  When our parents were younger, most of them married young.  Also, the ones that weren't married and having sex had a different level of responsibility.  This is not to make light of the sexually charged children in todays society, but there is a difference. 


Hell, I work in education, and the things that I hear children talk about is far more advanced from when I was in school.  This is only my opinion, so don't chew me out for expressing it.  I don't understand why parents get bent out of shape when schools recommend distributing condoms at school.

Condoms aren't the problem

The problem lies with children being misinformed, fearful to talk openly to parents, and the glorification of sex in the media.  With that said, I don't see these underlying issues changing anytime soon.  There is nothing wrong with saying to teens, "I would like for you to wait until marriage, but realistically speaking, it may not happen and in case you don't wait, here are condoms, please be safe, and talk to me if you have any questions." 

I remember attending school and unfortunately, Sex Education didn't offer much insight into sex.  Bottom line, I learned nothing in school about sex.   This is pretty sad considering the fact that I had sex education in elementary, middle school, and high school.  When I was in school, society was still in denial about children having sex so maybe that's why there wasn't a better platform. 

Don't get me wrong, my parents were open with me about sex.  However, I had friends who were far more advanced and were having sex.  I recall being in 7th grade and my classmate having to leave school because it was discovered that she was 5 months pregnant.  At the time, I didn't understand.  It wasn't until high school when I realized that most of the kids were having sex and some were rather promiscuous.  It was the secret in the community that no one wanted others to know.  Whenever I go back home to visit it's no surprise to me that those same girls who I attended high school with are 28 years old and have 12 year old children. 

What's my point?

Sex will not go away, and will not go away.  The fact of the matter is, it can't be swept under a rug.  Instead of constantly telling teens to NOT have sex until marriage, they should be told to ask questions, ask questions, and ask more questions.  In my opinion, children shouldn't be told NO if they need condoms, because it is more important for them to be educated and protected than uneducated and scared. 

I am learning that people really shouldn't be personalized by labels.  You recall me telling you about 'E'.  He was the guy who I placed a million labels on in the beginning.  I realize how unfair it is and one day I will stop, but until then there is one label that he deserves, and then I'll stop.  His new label: Ignorant. 

Finally, he calls me and gives me a reason other than "tired," "stressed" va-va bull... for his sudden "departure" AND "let's be friends," bullshit.  His excuse, is based on religious factors.  While I love God, and don't deny that, I am not extreme and find most extremist hypocritical.  I pray, I love, I respect all religions, and people as they are. 

With that said:

I don't live my life based on my religious upbringing.  I am an individual and march to my own beat.  But that's my opinion.  Back to E.  He says to me that we can't date, because he's religious blah-blah-blah.  Shouldn't these things be stated in the beginning? So, let me get this straight, you can come over my house, kiss me, take me out on dates, eat my cooking, but you can't be in a relationship with me? OH, Ok, again why, because we don't believe in the exact same principles?

Side Note:
I don't fault him for wanting to be with someone who shares his beliefs, but I do hold him responsible for being misleading and not stating up front his religious convictions. 

Our conversation went something like this...

E- Well didn't you use to live with your ex boyfriend.

Me- Yeah, but God isn't going to punish me for cohabiting.

Ugh, since when does my religion have anything to do with my lifestyle? I know many people who don't follow the guidelines of their religion, but it doesn't make them a bad person.  It simply makes them a human being.  The more I talked to him, I almost felt sorry for him.  I felt sorry that he couldn't just live his life, date who he wanted to date, and stop putting so many "labels" on the people.  I know, this coming from a girl who placed a million labels on him in the beginning.  Guilty as charged!

Me- Why didn't you address this concern in the beginning?

E- Well we were just friends.

So sick and tired of people loosely using the term 'friends' because clearly there was an attraction and something more than friendship.

Me- When you said that you really, really, liked me while you were in my house, what was that about?

Side Note:
Did you think about religion then? I'm sure ya didn't.  There is more to this story and more that I could say, but I won't.  While I am pissed at the conversation between E and me, I refuse to degrade, be nasty, or classless. 

E-I liked you as a friend, and when I saw that it was progressing into something else that's when I knew I had to cut it off. 

I will never understand why I received a message through a social website and not a person to person conversation. But, maybe some questions are better left unanswered. 
Again, he states that he would like to remain friends.  Am I over reacting?