Tuesday, 05 January 2010
He was charming, attractive, intellectual. Honesty, open communication. I am a serial labeler at times.
He was just my type. I met E two months ago coming out of a business meeting. At first, I almost didn't notice him because I was busy yapping it up on my cellphone.
"You didn't notice me in the meeting?"
"No, sorry I didn't, you were inside?" I asked, immediately ending my phone conversation.
"Does the bus stop here?"
"Yes, I'm taking the same bus, we can ride together," he said.
That night, we rode the bus together and talked for nearly an hour. We talked about our aspirations, goals, and just general things about ourselves.
He told me that he was leaving in a few months for med school. He asked me several times throughout our conversation if this was a problem. I didn't see it as a problem. I believe that if you like a person in the end things are always worked out. Maybe that should have been a sign, but at the time, it wasn't.
Over the next month, we hung out and had a great time together. Everything appeared to be going well. Our first date he prayed over our food. A man that believes in God, is extremely attractive.
In the beginning of dating, we discussed how we mutually had feelings for each other.
"I really like you," he told me several times.
I felt the same for him. Although, it was such a short amount of time, it seemed like things couldn't have been better.
Our final date, he came over my house. It wasn't his first time over. We laughed, talked, kissed-- the chemistry didn't seem any different from the first time we met. As the passion intensified between us, I told him to slow down. It didn't seem like the right time to have sex. He said that my decision was respected and that there was no pressure. The night ended with a kiss.
The next day, he didn't call or text. Generally, I'll wait and wait to receive a call, but it's hard for me to break down and call.
Sometimes, rules are made to be broken. I broke my rule. I called him. He didn't answer. I left a message. He didn't return my call.
The next day, I finally received a text.
"Tired, exhausted, heading home," he said.
Had he forgotten about the plans that we made? He was supposed to come over.
"Cool, I understand. Are you stopping by later?"
"No thank you," he said.
I felt humiliated. First off, who responds by saying, "No thank you?"
I read the book, I saw the movie, so I was beginning to realize 'He just wasn't that into me.' But, I couldn't understand why? If everything was going so well, how could things change so easily?
Three days later, we encountered each other at a business meeting. He said hello, but it was an awkward 'hello.' Not the... I'm so happy to see you, Hello, but the kind of hello like he was forcing himself. I felt sick to my stomach.
That night, I returned home, and immediately jumped on the internet. Natural habit. I had a message. It was from E.
"I do enjoy spending time with you; however, I don't want a relationship. My decision is based on several factors. I hope we can continue to be friends."
I felt insulted. And again, Humiliated. Why couldn't he tell me that via telephone, in person, or better yet, in the beginning.
Two weeks later.
He contacted me. He Called. Doesn't want things to be weird between us. Um, OK. He was tired, blah, blah... He apologizes.
I saw E after his call, but there hasn't been any contact since.
Lesson learned: Never place labels on a man who clearly has no intentions on being personalized.
