Back in January, I wrote a piece called, "Confession: I'm broke as hell, but I like nice things."

Well, here's a Confession: I'm still broke as hell, but I want to change.

"Ten percent of all earning is yours to keep," my father use to tell me everyday when I was a kid.

Unfortunately, the statement went in one ear and out the other.  I was 9.  How could anyone expect a 9 year old to conceptualize that?

I get it now.  The message was about the principal of being able to save.  To have financial relief. 

"Lord, what I'd do for financial freedom." 

As a kid, I had this yellow bear bank that my brother won for me at the California State Fair.  I cherished that bank.  I felt like such an adult with responsibility to be able to save money. 

I had so much money as a kid! But, then again, I didn't have rent, bills, tuition, OH, did I mention, BILLS!

I know that I'm not the only single girl experiencing this grief.  I look at the clothes in my closet and I think, "Whelp, I probably shouldn't have bought that sexy red dress or those satin shoes." 

"It's cheap.  Only $100 for both," I'm walking around the mall talking to myself.  I see the stares and whispers from people. 

"Is she debating with herself about purchasing a cheap ass dress and shoes?" In my mind this is what people say. 

At this moment, I am being "stalked" by annoying 800, 888, and strange numbers from different area codes.  I use the word "stalked" very loosely.  I refuse to answer! I say they're stalking me, but truthfully the only crime that they've committed is calling me 10 times a day, if that's even a crime.  If it were a guy calling me 10 times at ridiculous hours of the day, I'm pretty sure it would be classified as stalking.  Better yet, I would immediately place him in the "crazy guy" category.  Come on, every girl has a "crazy guy" category. 

I have already committed a sin.

Suze Orman always says that you should answer the phone when the bill people call, but hell I'll think about it. 

"Hello, Happy New Year, I'm far too fabulous, and broke for this, F off, If I was rollin in dough you wouldn't need to call me, I'd pay you you're freakin money" that's the speech that I have planned for the pesky operators but of course I never say that. 

I keep thinking of ways that I can cut back; however, I'm already limiting myself to the max.  I suppose if I consulted with Suze Orman she would probably yell at me for having cable and internet, but am I suppose to live in darkness. 

What can I say, there's nothing more priceless than waking up on a Saturday morning and being able to watch Lifetime.  The crazy sagas of men cheating, getting caught, and something that's 'based on a true story,' those are my favorites.  HA!

Here I go, I'm making excuses, but this is reality.  I don't have many vices, is it wrong to have just one or two or three that doesn't include indulging in alcohol, clubs, or tabacco? Hell no, I say. 

Oh, and if you're wondering why I don't get rid of the internet that's an easy explanation, I'm a writer and all writers need the internet.  Nope, I refuse to sit at some bootleg coffee shop or internet cafe located in the corner of an alley and blog.  Besides, their schedule probably doesn't fit in with my busy schedule.

I'm sitting here at 12 pm watching another episode of Suze Orman as she screams, "denied!" I can only imagine the long list of things I would be "DENIED!

"But Suze can I have cable tv?"
 DENIED

"I have three trips planned this year, and I really want to go."
DENIED

"I want to get my damn eyebrows waxed, so that I don't look like Groucho Marx's sister from another mister."

"Let me spell it out for you my dear, D-E-N-I-E-D, DENIED, do I need to repeat myself? "No trips this year, no sushi, NO, NO, NO," she would say screaming in her high pitched voice.

"Basically, what I'm hearing is that you want me to be a damn hermit and hide under a rock, GREEEATTTT...." that would be my reply. 

If I were married maybe this would be easier... 

I can't believe I even just made that statement.  I definitely know that it doesn't get easier.  I'd probably be even more annoyed with tons of debt. 

I complain about my debt, because I can.  Also, I know what I need to do to clear it.  20's are meant to make mistakes and fix it, so that in your 30's there will be No more excuses!

1. Good thing about being single and in debt: I don't have to worry about anyone else but myself. 

Here's to 2010,
Getting rid of debt and continuing to be young, fabulous & one day rich.

How many American's are living beyond their means? I know that I am.  Yesterday, I went to the mall and spent way more money than I had and needed to on my budget.  At the time, I walked away feeling great.  I needed new jeans (my old pairs were too small), that's an investment??? RIGHT??? LOL.  I mean, ok, so I spent money on a new black purse from Aldo, but it was on sale--marked down from $50 to $35, again, that's an investment, right??? I needed a monthly bus pass, how else will I get around--I don't own a car anymore.

Things that I didn't need:

I didn't need new sunglasses, and facial products, but something in the back of my head told me to purchase them, so I did.

  When I arrived home and began to calculate the amount I spent, I felt sick to my stomach.  I didn't even spend that much, but the fact that I'm so freaking broke drives me crazy.  I guess, I did pick one of the most expensive places to live.  Love Hawaii, but good lord! I had this discussion with a colleague about the difference of living in the Bay Area vs. Hawaii.  While Hawaii is probably a little cheaper in terms of housing (not by that much), but a little bit, the Bay Area or even living in the mainland is cheaper to overall LIVE.  I spend way more money here than I did back home.  I cooked a lot more back home that's one thing.  I realize that, I don't cook as much here, because my kitchen is sooo small that I never want to cook.  Seriously, I don't have a lot of space.  Also, the prices on clothing, cosmetics, etc. cost a lot more.  I spend so much money in Walmart that it's ridiculous.  And, I can't just buy any ol product, because of severe allergies. 

Here's the facts:

In two years, I will complete grad school and hopefully earn a lot more money, but in the meantime, I need to put my entrepreneurial skills to use and figure out how to make more money.  This new year, I told myself that I would make more, live better, and be happier.  So, by the end of this year, I need to make a few major changes. 

Until then, I need to stick to a strict budget... Yes, somehow, it will have to happen--even in Hawaii.  I'm sure Suse Orman would have a lot to say...I can hear her voice now, "DENIED!"  Well, I'm sorry, but it's kind of difficult to deny myself things when I always deny myself.  When will I ever have enough money??? Growing up, my parents would always tell me to work hard and that the hard work will pay off, but how long until it starts paying off??? because, it definitely hasn't so far. 

For goodness sakes, I'm up at 4 am going over in my mind about business plans, LOL.  I can't help it, I'm an Aries.  We're very compulsive by nature.  This New Year has to bring more positive changes, because I need a HUGE increase in my overall annual income.  I want to be able to call in on Suse Orman's segment and she says to me, "APPROVED!"  I want to be able to have financial freedom.  I want to walk in the mall and not stress over spending money.  This new year, I am taking control... I will have some form of financial freedom... I am claiming it, and I own it. 

Everyone loves nice things.  What 20 + year old doesn't??? Maybe, I need to hurry up and get married, so we can have a combined income. Ha Ha, I kid.  Kinda. 

 I'm signing off for now,

This is my confessional: I'm Broke As Hell, but I Like Nice Things!