I keep hearing the term "open marriage" but what does that really mean? I guess from how its been explained the couple agrees to openly communicate with each other and have no secrets and no lies within the marriage.  The other catch is that, if someone steps out of the marriage and cheats it's admissible to the couple. Sounds legit! I think that so many people cheat on their spouses and lie about it, so why not say to your lover "hey, if you're going to do it, please let me know."  Ok, maybe that doesn't solve much of anything but it does allow couples to communicate without the fear.  

Lets be honest with ourselves...
How many couples file for divorce immediately after hearing that their lover cheated? Most of the time they don't file for divorce.  So, if a couple isn't going to get divorced based on cheating, doesn't it make more since to just put it on the table that cheating is not a deal breaker or possible reason for divorce or to break up?!?!  

I'm talking about open marriages but honestly I assume that it's the same thing as being polyamorous; where the couple agrees that it is ok to bring someone else into their relationship.  The difference in polyamorous relationships is that the couple isn't married.  I actually know a couple who have agreed to this.  They've been together for years and it seems to work for them.  BTW, that interview is coming soon.

Several research indicates that open marriages have existed since the 70's.  Well, that's noted research.  I believe it probably existed before then.  In fact, according to Wed MD ( a website that discusses health and sex) the term "open marriage" was first coined in 1972 by George and Nena O'Neill when they wrote a book titled, Open Marriage.  

On the flip side...
Honestly though, is it realistic? I only ask because women and men naturally communicate differently.  You know the saying based on John Gray's book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.  What are the odds of a couple telling each other EVERY little detail? Although, it may be established in the beginning to openly communicate about desires, fantasies, and secrets, someone may still be deceptive in the marriage.  I would love to interview a married couple and ask them more questions about this topic.  I'm intrigued by it.  I wonder what is the success rate of marriages that have an open agreement.  Furthermore, how many couples are in open marriages? The article on Web MD states, that 4 to 9 percent of marriages in the United States probably have an open arrangement.  I would predict more.  Interested in hearing actual stats on this.

On the other hand, I know so many couples who are married and living a lie.  I guess having an open marriage would alleviate a bit of the unhappiness.  Seemingly, having an open marriage seems to work for several couples.  Actress/Comedian Monique recently discussed her open marriage with her husband.  She's received a lot of flak on it.  I think that if it works for her then great, but maybe the grounds of her marriage should have been kept privately between her and her husband.  Maybe she shouldn't tell that they have an open marriage because it's no one else's business, but then again she is bringing awareness to the topic.  

Seems like in an open marriage, the husband is more prone to step out of the marriage since men have sex outside the relationship more than women (allegedly).  Also, is there ever really a commitment in a open marriage? If someone is giving you permission to have sex, will you feel as though you've been granted a pass?

I've also heard situations where the woman is unsatisfied and the man allows her to step out.  So, it isn't always about the man.  But, does the relationship become unbalanced if one person has sex cheat while the other person doesn't? Maybe, Maybe not.  Are human beings just greedy? is it a natural instinct to want to indulge in more? Maybe human beings aren't made to only have one lover, maybe we are. Or maybe, having an open marriage is being realistic with each other, so that the other person isn't blindsided.  

All in all, I think that if a couple finds that a particular way (conventional or not) works for them then, so be it.  Thoughts??? 

Source via Web MD

I'm sure you recall me telling you about the guy who wanted me to be the "other woman..."  Well, he emailed me again, but this time his email went a little different.

"Hey, I haven't heard from you, so I'll take that as a hint and figure that, you're not interested."

"Um, ding-ding-ding," I said aloud as I read the email.

The real question is, Why is this dude still contacting me?

"Sorry if you felt like I disrespected you, but if we don't take chances in life, what are we living for?"

Did he really run that line on me? "If we don't take chances..." First off, cheating on your wife is not a chance you should be wanting to take.  It's never a good situation. 

"If you ever change your mind, please don't hesitate to contact me," he said.

I didn't even finish the whole email before calling up my friend 'L' and telling her about the crazy email. 

"Yea, he's crazy," she said. 

I knew that he was crazy, but I just needed someone to confirm it for me. 

I still refuse to dignify his off shit with a response.  I mean seriously, who does that?
Apparently, several married men.  Seemingly, 2009 was the year of cheats coming out of the wood works. 

Who solicits sex via email? He must be the dumbest man ever.  Doesn't he realize women are clever? Men don't give us enough credit.  His wife has probably been all through his email checking up on his ass. LOL.  Seriously!

I wanted to respond back to him and tell him to get a life, but I am a firm believer that sometimes silence is the best weapon. 

The worse thing about this all is that, he lives across the street.  I guess he thought that he was going to get some quick start booty from me or something. 

I wonder, how many people are in unhappy marriages?

What is it about some married men! Don't get me wrong, this post is not to bash married men, because there are several men out there who are committed, in love, and respect their relationships.  However, I'm annoyed with married men who believe it's ok to push up on single women or send inappropriate emails.

Last month

I received an email from an old acquaintance.  Nothing alarming about that, right?!?! Well, that's what I thought until I continued reading the email. 

"Hello," he said. 

"What the hell, I'm just going to say it," he continued.

"I really am attracted to you and I want us to pleasure each other."

"I don't want to leave my wife, or anything like that."

"The truth of the matter is, I have been attracted to you all along."

I was floored! First off, Why did he decide to send me this email? He's a married man.  I wrecked my brain that day trying to think back, and trying to remember if I in some way delivered a "F-me vibe" but NOPE, I hadn't. 

As I continued to read the long email, he talked about how his wife was going to be out of town, and that he really wanted to see me. 

"If you want a little fun, call me.  But, if I don't hear back from you, I understand, please don't hate me, or avoid me when you see me," he said.

I didn't respond back to his email.  What was I suppose to say in response? I was so offended.  He and I were always cool, and never in a million years did I expect to receive a message like that from him.  He should have known that I wouldn't respond. 

The only thought that entered my mind was in regards to his wife.  How could this man disrespect his wife like that?

Emailing

Another thing, what the hell is up with people using email, texting, etc. as their main form of communication? It's like person to person or phone contact no longer exist.  I think that people are weird when they send random messages electronically, but maybe that's just me. 

Obviously, there are several women who probably would have taken him up on his offer; however, I never will be the 'other woman.'