I was reading an article on Bossip.com about the difference between men and women when it comes to having casual sex.  Rapper Bow Wow, discussed the difference and talked about how women become jealous and obsessed, but that men are capable of  understanding the difference between casual sex and sex in a relationship. 

First off, who gives Bow Bow the right to suddenly be an expert, isn't he like 12? Haha.  I kid, I kid.  No, but I'm really starting to get tired of the overwhelming amount of men who feel that because they are in the spotlight they're experts on men and women as it relates to dating.  Sure, I recognize that there is a difference in the way men and women interact, and I also recognize that women are emotional by nature, but I know several women who are capable of having sex and accepting it as just SEX.  I'm tired of men portraying us as whiny, overly emotional, hormonal broads! I'll admit, all these things can apply to me, but that's only when I'm watching Lifetime, so suck it!

Maybe, I'm being harsh.  In their defense men don't always think before they speak.  Darn, I guess that's pretty harsh too.  Point being is that, men aren't the only ones who want just a sexual relationship.  I have friends who tell guys straight up, "I just want sex, and not a relationship."  Sure, the majority of women probably would like a committed relationship, but aren't there men who equally want the same?

Where the problem lies 

Here's the problem.  Men and women communicate differently.  Oftentimes, a man will know that a woman doesn't want JUST a sexual relationship, but he'll enter into the situation anyway.  We women are just as guilty, because we know what the guy wants, and instead of walking away, we walk into the situation hoping "he changes" his mind.  Some men think with their anatomy and some women think with their hearts. 

These roles can sometimes be reversed.  Equally, a man can think with his heart, and a woman can think with her anatomy.     

NEWSFLASH

Men don't change their minds regarding sex.  There are instances where more feelings are developed, but rarely does a man change his mind. 

SIDENOTE

Why are there so many books written by men on how women should act? And, so many movies--once again, written by men on women? In my opinion, standards of a woman have been set so high, but not by ourselves.  These standards have been set based on men.  Don't get me wrong, I love, honor, and respect THE MAN.  But, I'm sick of being objectified all because of a particular standard that has been placed.  We should all be able to screw who we want, date who we want, and act the way we want without some celebrity or reject pointing the finger believing that he has all the answers. 

So as I end this long blog, because of rants... Here's my finger
"screw you."

I use to hate the mention of Valentines Day.  Walking into a store was like torture.  Chocolate candy, heart shaped boxes, red roses, etc.  But this year is different for me.  I am going to embrace being single.  I am going to embrace loving myself more.  I will be my own valentine.

 I know it sounds crazy, but I'm over wondering if someone will ask me out for V Day.  Instead, I want to go out with my friends and have fun.  Enjoy being 20 something.  I want to flirt with guys, laugh, eat, drink, and be merry.  All in good fun.  Whatever happened to that? Whatever happened to people actually enjoying themselves and not caring so much about the title? I'm sick of titles!

I want to go out, have fun, wear a sexy red dress or maybe just a hot number with sexy red shoes.  Sounds like a plan to me! Besides that, I'll be running in the Aloha Race the next morning, so my bedtime will be 9 pm Sunday night.  I'll probably go out Saturday and celebrate.  Monday I'll run in the race, and Tuesday I'll probably go and get a full body massage, I have a feeling that I'll need it after this race.  This Valentines Day through out the title, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and have a great time! 

I was talking to my friend "L Sexy" she goes by that because she's a boss.  We were talking about our previous relationships and how even the guys we "dated" were no different from the "boyfriends." 

"I don't think I'll ever call another dude my boyfriend," L Sexy declared.

I cracked up for a minuto at just the thought of her statement.  But, it's so true! If you really think about the time that is wasted on meaningless relationships, you realize that labeling these guys is so not worth it.  I told her that I'm going to copy her and follow her lead.  I've probably had 4 undeserving guys in my life that were given the great opportunity of being called my boyfriend.  At the end of the day I realize that, most of us are far too fabulous to waste our time. 

My friend said from this point forward she's either single or married, and I couldn't agree more.  Why should we waste our time? Being single is far better than getting caught up in emotions, feelings, or stressing over 'getting to know' someone.  No one likes the introduction.  It would be so much better if we could just speed past all of that. 

I'm taking my friends advice and from this point forward every dude I date is 'my friend.'  If it gets serious... I'm still single until there's a ring on my finger. 

He was charming, attractive, intellectual.  Honesty, open communication.   I am a serial labeler at times. 

He was just my type.  I met E two months ago coming out of a business meeting.  At first, I almost didn't notice him because I was busy yapping it up on my cellphone. 

"You didn't notice me in the meeting?"

"No, sorry I didn't, you were inside?" I asked, immediately ending my phone conversation.

"Does the bus stop here?"

"Yes, I'm taking the same bus, we can ride together," he said.

That night, we rode the bus together and talked for nearly an hour.  We talked about our aspirations, goals, and just general things about ourselves. 

He told me that he was leaving in a few months for med school.  He asked me several times throughout our conversation if this was a problem.  I didn't see it as a problem.  I believe that if you like a person in the end things are always worked out.  Maybe that should have been a sign, but at the time, it wasn't.  

Over the next month, we hung out and had a great time together.  Everything appeared to be going well.  Our first date he prayed over our food.  A man that believes in God, is extremely attractive. 

In the beginning of dating, we discussed how we mutually had feelings for each other. 

"I really like you," he told me several times.

I felt the same for him.  Although, it was such a short amount of time, it seemed like things couldn't have been better.

Our final date, he came over my house.  It wasn't his first time over.  We laughed, talked, kissed-- the chemistry didn't seem any different from the first time we met.  As the passion intensified between us, I told him to slow down.  It didn't seem like the right time to have sex.  He said that my decision was respected and that there was no pressure.  The night ended with a kiss.

The next day, he didn't call or text.  Generally, I'll wait and wait to receive a call, but it's hard for me to break down and call. 

Sometimes, rules are made to be broken.  I broke my rule.  I called him.  He didn't answer.  I left a message.  He didn't return my call. 

The next day, I finally received a text. 

"Tired, exhausted, heading home," he said. 

Had he forgotten about the plans that we made? He was supposed to come over. 

"Cool, I understand.  Are you stopping by later?"

"No thank you," he said. 

I felt humiliated.  First off, who responds by saying, "No thank you?"

I read the book, I saw the movie, so I was beginning to realize 'He just wasn't that into me.'  But, I couldn't understand why? If everything was going so well, how could things change so easily?

Three days later, we encountered each other at a business meeting.  He said hello, but it was an awkward 'hello.'  Not the... I'm so happy to see you, Hello, but the kind of hello like he was forcing himself.  I felt sick to my stomach. 

That night, I returned home, and immediately jumped on the internet.  Natural habit.  I had a message.  It was from E.

"I do enjoy spending time with you; however, I don't want a relationship.  My decision is based on several factors.  I hope we can continue to be friends."

I felt insulted.  And again, Humiliated.  Why couldn't he tell me that via telephone, in person, or better yet, in the beginning. 

Two weeks later.
He contacted me.  He Called.  Doesn't want things to be weird between us.  Um, OK.  He was tired, blah, blah... He apologizes. 

I saw E after his call, but there hasn't been any contact since. 

Lesson learned: Never place labels on a man who clearly has no intentions on being personalized. 

Hawaii is such an amazingly beautiful place.  You walk outside and you're immediately smitten and smell the intoxicating, but lovely scent of the flowers and plants.  The water is clear blue and inviting.  The people are friendly.  The men... Well, Houston we have a problem!

Where are the handsom, single, non-commitment phobic men in Hawaii? I'm not talking about the men who are only looking for a booty call, and if that's you, please stop reading. 

It seems rather difficult to meet like minded men on this rock.  You know, the men that actually would like to settle down, and not just hook up.  Don't get me wrong I'm open for dating, but a relationship would be nice.  At the suggestion of a friend, I checked out the local dating sites, but the choices for Hawaii are horrible.  The men who had the audacity to create a profile should be ashamed of themselves.  Most of them screamed loser. 

Why can't someone create a singles retreat on this rock or something?

As most know, I am a published author of a book of poetry called, "Diary of a Skinny Girl."  I honestly feel blessed to even be able to say that.  Since I was a little girl it has always been my dream to publish a book.  "Writing is like water to me, I need it for nourishment."  That's my quote!

It is the best gift that has been given to me.  This book that I wrote is very personal, because each poem is meaningful.  Some are about my life and some are about people that I know.  The book is a coming of age book that I hope will one day inspire young women.  When I wrote it that's who I had in mind.  Love, heartache, being single, dating, sex, prejudice... these are the topics that so many of us can relate to.  With that said, I have decided to share one of the poems from my book.

It's called:

The Colossal

Driving to an insane path
Tunnel of lust
subliminal messages
Marked, sealed, and mailed
Delusional convictions
Guiltily incapacitated
BEWARE!
Soul of hidden desires
Seven deadly sins
Extensive infiltration
Extended brownish-yellow
Canary passerine bird
Calling of the wild
Unable to be tamed
Over indulgence
is not a crime,
But gluttony is a
Sin.

Sidenote:
To read more, purchase my book at Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble.com

Back in January, I wrote a piece called, "Confession: I'm broke as hell, but I like nice things."

Well, here's a Confession: I'm still broke as hell, but I want to change.

"Ten percent of all earning is yours to keep," my father use to tell me everyday when I was a kid.

Unfortunately, the statement went in one ear and out the other.  I was 9.  How could anyone expect a 9 year old to conceptualize that?

I get it now.  The message was about the principal of being able to save.  To have financial relief. 

"Lord, what I'd do for financial freedom." 

As a kid, I had this yellow bear bank that my brother won for me at the California State Fair.  I cherished that bank.  I felt like such an adult with responsibility to be able to save money. 

I had so much money as a kid! But, then again, I didn't have rent, bills, tuition, OH, did I mention, BILLS!

I know that I'm not the only single girl experiencing this grief.  I look at the clothes in my closet and I think, "Whelp, I probably shouldn't have bought that sexy red dress or those satin shoes." 

"It's cheap.  Only $100 for both," I'm walking around the mall talking to myself.  I see the stares and whispers from people. 

"Is she debating with herself about purchasing a cheap ass dress and shoes?" In my mind this is what people say. 

At this moment, I am being "stalked" by annoying 800, 888, and strange numbers from different area codes.  I use the word "stalked" very loosely.  I refuse to answer! I say they're stalking me, but truthfully the only crime that they've committed is calling me 10 times a day, if that's even a crime.  If it were a guy calling me 10 times at ridiculous hours of the day, I'm pretty sure it would be classified as stalking.  Better yet, I would immediately place him in the "crazy guy" category.  Come on, every girl has a "crazy guy" category. 

I have already committed a sin.

Suze Orman always says that you should answer the phone when the bill people call, but hell I'll think about it. 

"Hello, Happy New Year, I'm far too fabulous, and broke for this, F off, If I was rollin in dough you wouldn't need to call me, I'd pay you you're freakin money" that's the speech that I have planned for the pesky operators but of course I never say that. 

I keep thinking of ways that I can cut back; however, I'm already limiting myself to the max.  I suppose if I consulted with Suze Orman she would probably yell at me for having cable and internet, but am I suppose to live in darkness. 

What can I say, there's nothing more priceless than waking up on a Saturday morning and being able to watch Lifetime.  The crazy sagas of men cheating, getting caught, and something that's 'based on a true story,' those are my favorites.  HA!

Here I go, I'm making excuses, but this is reality.  I don't have many vices, is it wrong to have just one or two or three that doesn't include indulging in alcohol, clubs, or tabacco? Hell no, I say. 

Oh, and if you're wondering why I don't get rid of the internet that's an easy explanation, I'm a writer and all writers need the internet.  Nope, I refuse to sit at some bootleg coffee shop or internet cafe located in the corner of an alley and blog.  Besides, their schedule probably doesn't fit in with my busy schedule.

I'm sitting here at 12 pm watching another episode of Suze Orman as she screams, "denied!" I can only imagine the long list of things I would be "DENIED!

"But Suze can I have cable tv?"
 DENIED

"I have three trips planned this year, and I really want to go."
DENIED

"I want to get my damn eyebrows waxed, so that I don't look like Groucho Marx's sister from another mister."

"Let me spell it out for you my dear, D-E-N-I-E-D, DENIED, do I need to repeat myself? "No trips this year, no sushi, NO, NO, NO," she would say screaming in her high pitched voice.

"Basically, what I'm hearing is that you want me to be a damn hermit and hide under a rock, GREEEATTTT...." that would be my reply. 

If I were married maybe this would be easier... 

I can't believe I even just made that statement.  I definitely know that it doesn't get easier.  I'd probably be even more annoyed with tons of debt. 

I complain about my debt, because I can.  Also, I know what I need to do to clear it.  20's are meant to make mistakes and fix it, so that in your 30's there will be No more excuses!

1. Good thing about being single and in debt: I don't have to worry about anyone else but myself. 

Here's to 2010,
Getting rid of debt and continuing to be young, fabulous & one day rich.

I received a text message from a good friend the other day who was stressed over her big move coming up in March. 

Her message:

"I'm so stressed out about moving in with my friend in March."

"Why?" I asked her.

"Well, she has kids."

"I wouldn't do it," I told her.

Typically, I don't like to respond to people with "I wouldn't" or "If I were you," because I hate those responses.  I find it annoying and a complete disregard for the person's emotions (that's the future psychologist talking) however, I seriously wouldn't do it!

There is no way a fabulous 20-something woman should give up her freedom.  In my eyes it's like signing over your legal rights.  Don't get me wrong, I love children, but living with them is not an option.  Lifestyle wise and for sanity purposes.

"How old are they?"

"Their 6 and 7," she responded.

The fact that the kids are 6 and 7 makes me nervous.  In my head, I picture a scene from Yours Mine and Ours or whatever that movie was called with Dennis Quaid.  Food flying, kids screaming, sleep being disturbed, yeah, it's not the business.

"The problem living with kids is that you won't have any privacy, and probably won't get a lot of rest.  Think about it before you do it.  Don't move from one situation to another situation that's far worse," I told her.

If she could see my face, she would know that I was cringing the entire time that I was typing that message.  NO DON'T DO IT!!!!! I wanted to beam warning signs to her with a laser gun.  Do you think it would have helped?

"You can't find a roommate who doesn't have kids? Why are you stressed out about the situation?" I continued to ask more questions.

"I don't know how to tell her," she said. 

"Damn chica.  That's a difficult one because either way she's going to be upset that you agreed.  But a single girl living with a woman with kids is never a good situation."

I forgot to mention that, the woman she's thinking about moving in with is in her early 30's.  I'm sure she's probably cool, and tons of fun.  She probably use to get it back in her day.  Haha, I say that like she's a lot older than my age group.  She's not, but we all know two children and single is no joke.  She probably has to sacrifice much of her freedom. 

My advice to my friend was not to do it.  That's the only advice that I could give.

 What should my friend do? And, how does she break it to the potential roommate that she's no longer interested without hurting her feelings?

What is it about some married men! Don't get me wrong, this post is not to bash married men, because there are several men out there who are committed, in love, and respect their relationships.  However, I'm annoyed with married men who believe it's ok to push up on single women or send inappropriate emails.

Last month

I received an email from an old acquaintance.  Nothing alarming about that, right?!?! Well, that's what I thought until I continued reading the email. 

"Hello," he said. 

"What the hell, I'm just going to say it," he continued.

"I really am attracted to you and I want us to pleasure each other."

"I don't want to leave my wife, or anything like that."

"The truth of the matter is, I have been attracted to you all along."

I was floored! First off, Why did he decide to send me this email? He's a married man.  I wrecked my brain that day trying to think back, and trying to remember if I in some way delivered a "F-me vibe" but NOPE, I hadn't. 

As I continued to read the long email, he talked about how his wife was going to be out of town, and that he really wanted to see me. 

"If you want a little fun, call me.  But, if I don't hear back from you, I understand, please don't hate me, or avoid me when you see me," he said.

I didn't respond back to his email.  What was I suppose to say in response? I was so offended.  He and I were always cool, and never in a million years did I expect to receive a message like that from him.  He should have known that I wouldn't respond. 

The only thought that entered my mind was in regards to his wife.  How could this man disrespect his wife like that?

Emailing

Another thing, what the hell is up with people using email, texting, etc. as their main form of communication? It's like person to person or phone contact no longer exist.  I think that people are weird when they send random messages electronically, but maybe that's just me. 

Obviously, there are several women who probably would have taken him up on his offer; however, I never will be the 'other woman.'

I've been going back and forth trying to figure out where I want to live once I complete graduate studies.  This next place will be my final decision, so I want to plan accordingly. 

I have been blessed to live in a few states.  I have lived in California, Alabama, Nevada, and Hawai'i.  I'm kinda picky as to what I need out of a state in order to settle.  I want to live somewhere that isn't too cold, has a beach, low crime rate, and beautiful scenery.  I think that I have been spoiled by living in Hawai'i.  I wish that I could stay living here, but for what I want to do-- it isn't the place.  However, I definitely would love to retire here. 

I'm a writer, and soon to be psychologist, so I have to live somewhere that is booming in both fields.  I'm questioning my move, but most likely I will move to San Francisco or somewhere in The Bay Area.  It reminds me of Hawai'i, but there are more opportunities for me.

The only disappointment about San Francisco is the high crime rate, and the bridges.  I have a terrible fear of driving across the bridge.  Lol.  Kinda lame, I know.  But, hearing stories about the bridge collapsing doesn't help.  All in all, I know that it is a great city for a single girl to work hard, and play hard.

What's your favorite city????






[Source via Fox News.com]

Does anyone still use this dating site?

I ask, because I never hear anyone talk about it anymore.  A few years ago, I was obsessed with looking up dudes on this site.  I was shocked when someone I crushed on in high school actually popped up.  His rap sheet was a mess.  Of course there's no way to tell if it's legit, but the mere fact that someone took time out to write a list of things about him is hilarious. 

I couldn't resist.  Tonight, I typed in a few guys names just for old times sake, but luckily there were no results.  Maybe people aren't familiar with this site or have forgotten about it.  Just imagine if everyone stuck together and reported every bad guy or date... us women wouldn't be surprised when a date acts out of pocket. 

I encourage women to start reporting bad guys on this site and spread the word.  It may actually help someone out. 

[Source via dontdatehimgirl.com]

When the clock strikes midnight every single girl looks around hoping for that kiss.  Some are lucky to receive a passionate kiss from a cute guy, but others aren't so lucky.  What is it about this particular holiday that makes single people crave a relationship?

G (guy) & T (girl) Flashback

They had been dating for almost a year, but every time T mentioned holidays G became more distant. 

"What are your plans for New Years Eve?" she asked him.  As he looked away from her she knew that the conversation was going to take a different turn.

"I'm actually going to Las Vegas with my boys," G said. 

At the time, T said that she didn't realize how much of a lie G's statement was.  She wondered why he didn't want to spend it with her. 

One day, T sat and told me about G at a near by Starbucks as we sipped on Soy Chai Tea.  She told me that they dated five years ago when she was only 21 and he was 31. 

"I desperately wanted to believe every word that came out of his mouth," she said.  T spent that New Years Eve with friends and no man by her side. 

He called her the next day to wish her a Happy New Year. 

"Of course, I told him Happy New Year in return, but I felt silly for not bringing up the fact that he didn't spend it with me."

G and T continued to date for another three years... They spent the remaining New Years Eve in different cities. 

A Brand New Year

Now 26, T Still remains single for the upcoming New Year.  "When the clock strikes midnight, will I be that lame single girl for the 5th year without a kiss?" she asked as she continued to sip her tea.

How many single people won't be kissed this New Year?    

Question!
Why is it that whenever you seem to not think about an "ex" they either pop up or call? "He" called, but I refused to answer.  "He" is this guy that I dated about 3 years ago, but never quite got him out of my system (hehe).

I tried, I tried... to maintain a friendship with him, but if a friendship is based on good will and a connection between two, our friendship ended years ago. 

"He" lies
Have you ever been friends with someone and you totally can predict the next lie they're about to utter? It becomes lie after lie, after... hell... eventually lies turn into horse do-do.

What would be the point? I've been there before with him.... when I say that I've been there before, I'm referring to the drama.

It's like a part of me wanted to pick up the phone and see how he was doing, because I haven't talked to him in a few weeks, but I knew picking up would involve me being extremely irritated and overall discontentment with the conversation.  Hell, I probably shouldn't even consider him an ex since "he" says we never dated.  The nerve... I felt disrespected and utterly annoyed when he said that.  If anything, "I should be the one not claiming him," I thought. 

What does "he" have? What was the attraction?  I ask myself sometimes.  However, my line of questions to myself are simply for 'self actualization' purposes, because I know exactly what "he" had, and what I was attracted to.  You're probably wondering, but simply put, in the beginning "he" was charming, loving, kind, and made me laugh.  "He" was that person that could make me laugh and I would crack up for hours. 

"We" were completely different, but I was attracted to that.  Somehow, his layers were peeled and I began to see a person that I didn't like so much.  Once peeled, all that was left was a bare onion, and NO matter how many times I tried to stop crying I couldn't stop.  Kinda an oxymoron, because a part of me couldn't stand him but the other part adored him.  Or maybe it was me wanting to adore him.  But then again I could go back and forth all day long with asking why and how questions.

Simply put,
time to move the hell on!

I constantly get the most random text and blackberry messages (BBM) from people, but this recent BBM was too funny.  My friend asked me in a message, "If you received a dollar for every guy you slept with, what could you buy? And, Please be honest.  I wasn't really stumped for too long with this question (lol), but I thought that it was hilarious.  I suppose there are several people who could buy Christian Louboutin shoes or designer clothes... Hell, maybe there are some people who can buy brand new homes.  No judgment! Just not my thang.  So what could you buy? Take my survey above

M...

The guy from Mickey D's just text'd me.  First, I'm kind of tired of guys using text messaging as their main source of communication.  Please, don't BBM me (Blackberry message for those who are not familiar), or text me more than you call me.

 I won't reply. 

It's two days later from our alleged "Sunday date."  He writes via text "Sorry, I didn't call you back the other day, I lost my battery!" At first, I didn't even know what he meant.  I replied, "what battery?"

He said his phone battery was misplaced.  How in the hell does a person lose their phone battery? HAHA.  Some people crack me up.  I didn't respond.  I'm above all that.  This crazy thing called being single.... gotta love it!

BTW, don't forget to follow me on Twitter 

A typical Saturday night for me is staying inside my apartment, indulging in cheese and crackers although I really shouldn't, and drinking my favorite Risata Moscato d' Asti wine.   However, this past week, I did something out of the norm.  I hung out with a few friends and went to a football game.  The football game was, well, I never pay attention to the game, I obviously go for the mens.  HAHA. 

Let me tell you what happened before the game.  So, we all decided to go eat.  Nothing fancy, just Mickey D's.  Well, we were laughing, eating and gossiping... when this guy walks in and catches my attention.  I'm not one to stare, but I thought he was attractive, so hell.  Besides, he should have been flattered to have a beautiful woman staring at him.

My friends and I all finished and decided to leave, but "the guy" sat down and ate by himself.  I decided to bust out one of my golden rules... business cards! Yep, once again, I always have one available.  I went back into Mickey D's, sat at his table, simply introduced myself, handed him my card and told him to call me. 

His name was M. 

1 day later, he did.  Typically, I have preliminary questions that I ask a man.  We all should ask questions.  I asked him, "do you have a girlfriend, wife... , do you have children?" It may sound a little forward, but I don't like to waste my time.  His first reply was, "we'll talk about that later, just not right now." What was the big freakin mystery? And, why did he have to be so secretive? After he said that, he said, "no I don't have a girlfriend."  Um, ok. 

We set plans to hang out around 3pm.  He wanted to come over to my house which is off.  Um, get a grip dude.  Bottom line, 3pm came and went.  He never called.  Was I stood up?

To be continued

If there is one thing that every single woman needs that's a set of business cards on deck.  I actually have been saying this for a while, and I happen to carry around my cards at all times.  I was laughing so hard when I was watching Wendy Williams, and Fran Drescher said that it was one of her rules.  This should be a law! Times are hard and it's not always easy to find a date.  I use to be one of those girls that thought it was tacky to be a little assertive towards a man, but I have been hearing from several guys that they appreciate a woman that speaks her mind. 

What do you really have to lose? I'm also just now learning that men don't always approach women.  I don't know why, but I use to believe they did.  My theory was, "If a man is interested, he'll ask you out."  Ladies, it doesn't always happen that way, and looks don't matter.  Well, I guess unless you're Halle Berry, I suppose.  So you're probably wondering, what do you say when you give a guy you interested in your business card? I have listed my 5 top favorite lines below.

1. If you have some free time, lets go for a drink
2. Give me a call
3. Hey, I'm ... how are you?
4. You seem interesting, here's my business card
5. I noticed you, and wanted to know if you'd like to chat sometime?

Haha, so I know it's a bit forward, but like I've said several times being 20 or 30 something isn't always simple.  Go for what you want.