Right now, I'm watching this movie on Lifetime called The Pregnancy Pact.  Although, the movie is fictional, it is inspired by true events.  Wow, this movie is making me think a lot about the unrealistic expectations that parents, churches, and society place on teens.  It's a sad day when teens can't have open communication with their parents and ask for condoms.  Beyond asking for condoms, teens should be able to have open dialogue with their parents, because that's the real issue.  Condoms and birth control definitely help, but without education and open discussions, it ain't going to help!

I also watched Bristol Palin on Oprah.  I listened as she confirmed her statement that, she will not have sex until marriage.  Really?!?! Oprah even gave her an opportunity to retract her statement.  Like Oprah said, who's to say that you'll meet that person, and even get married.  There are No guarantees.  That's definitely one way to look at it.  Don't get me wrong, abstinence is a great thing.  I use to say that I was going to abstain until marriage, but it didn't happen. 

The odds of an already sexually active teen abstaining until marriage is kinda slim, lets face it! But, that's just my opinion. 

The problem is, some parents worry so much about telling teens to wait 'til marriage until they have sex, and it's simply unrealistic.  When parents place these standards on teens, in my opinion, it isn't practical.  Yes, I grew up in a religious household, and I completely understand why parents and churches tell children to wait until marriage.  Sex can be risky, it comes with serious consequences, and there are also emotional factors of having sex too early (psychologically, it can be damaging), but the truth of the matter is that, children today are different than the children in the 1940s, 50s, or 60s.  The time period that our parents grew up in is not the same.  When our parents were younger, most of them married young.  Also, the ones that weren't married and having sex had a different level of responsibility.  This is not to make light of the sexually charged children in todays society, but there is a difference. 


Hell, I work in education, and the things that I hear children talk about is far more advanced from when I was in school.  This is only my opinion, so don't chew me out for expressing it.  I don't understand why parents get bent out of shape when schools recommend distributing condoms at school.

Condoms aren't the problem

The problem lies with children being misinformed, fearful to talk openly to parents, and the glorification of sex in the media.  With that said, I don't see these underlying issues changing anytime soon.  There is nothing wrong with saying to teens, "I would like for you to wait until marriage, but realistically speaking, it may not happen and in case you don't wait, here are condoms, please be safe, and talk to me if you have any questions." 

I remember attending school and unfortunately, Sex Education didn't offer much insight into sex.  Bottom line, I learned nothing in school about sex.   This is pretty sad considering the fact that I had sex education in elementary, middle school, and high school.  When I was in school, society was still in denial about children having sex so maybe that's why there wasn't a better platform. 

Don't get me wrong, my parents were open with me about sex.  However, I had friends who were far more advanced and were having sex.  I recall being in 7th grade and my classmate having to leave school because it was discovered that she was 5 months pregnant.  At the time, I didn't understand.  It wasn't until high school when I realized that most of the kids were having sex and some were rather promiscuous.  It was the secret in the community that no one wanted others to know.  Whenever I go back home to visit it's no surprise to me that those same girls who I attended high school with are 28 years old and have 12 year old children. 

What's my point?

Sex will not go away, and will not go away.  The fact of the matter is, it can't be swept under a rug.  Instead of constantly telling teens to NOT have sex until marriage, they should be told to ask questions, ask questions, and ask more questions.  In my opinion, children shouldn't be told NO if they need condoms, because it is more important for them to be educated and protected than uneducated and scared.