I keep hearing the term "open marriage" but what does that really mean? I guess from how its been explained the couple agrees to openly communicate with each other and have no secrets and no lies within the marriage. The other catch is that, if someone steps out of the marriage and cheats it's admissible to the couple. Sounds legit! I think that so many people cheat on their spouses and lie about it, so why not say to your lover "hey, if you're going to do it, please let me know." Ok, maybe that doesn't solve much of anything but it does allow couples to communicate without the fear.
Lets be honest with ourselves...
How many couples file for divorce immediately after hearing that their lover cheated? Most of the time they don't file for divorce. So, if a couple isn't going to get divorced based on cheating, doesn't it make more since to just put it on the table that cheating is not a deal breaker or possible reason for divorce or to break up?!?!
I'm talking about open marriages but honestly I assume that it's the same thing as being polyamorous; where the couple agrees that it is ok to bring someone else into their relationship. The difference in polyamorous relationships is that the couple isn't married. I actually know a couple who have agreed to this. They've been together for years and it seems to work for them. BTW, that interview is coming soon.
Several research indicates that open marriages have existed since the 70's. Well, that's noted research. I believe it probably existed before then. In fact, according to
Wed MD ( a website that discusses health and sex) the term "open marriage" was first coined in 1972 by George and Nena O'Neill when they wrote a book titled,
Open Marriage.
On the flip side...
Honestly though, is it realistic? I only ask because women and men naturally communicate differently. You know the saying based on John Gray's book,
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. What are the odds of a couple telling each other EVERY little detail? Although, it may be established in the beginning to openly communicate about desires, fantasies, and secrets, someone may still be deceptive in the marriage. I would love to interview a married couple and ask them more questions about this topic. I'm intrigued by it. I wonder what is the success rate of marriages that have an open agreement. Furthermore, how many couples are in open marriages? The article on Web MD states, that 4 to 9 percent of marriages in the United States probably have an open arrangement. I would predict more. Interested in hearing actual stats on this.
On the other hand, I know so many couples who are married and living a lie. I guess having an open marriage would alleviate a bit of the unhappiness. Seemingly, having an open marriage seems to work for several couples. Actress/Comedian Monique recently discussed her open marriage with her husband. She's received a lot of flak on it. I think that if it works for her then great, but maybe the grounds of her marriage should have been kept privately between her and her husband. Maybe she shouldn't tell that they have an open marriage because it's no one else's business, but then again she is bringing awareness to the topic.
Seems like in an open marriage, the husband is more prone to step out of the marriage since men have sex outside the relationship more than women (allegedly). Also, is there ever really a commitment in a open marriage? If someone is giving you permission to have sex, will you feel as though you've been granted a pass?
I've also heard situations where the woman is unsatisfied and the man allows her to step out. So, it isn't always about the man. But, does the relationship become unbalanced if one person has sex
cheat while the other person doesn't? Maybe, Maybe not. Are human beings just greedy? is it a natural instinct to want to indulge in more? Maybe human beings aren't made to only have one lover, maybe we are. Or maybe, having an open marriage is being realistic with each other, so that the other person isn't blindsided.
All in all, I think that if a couple finds that a particular way (conventional or not) works for them then, so be it. Thoughts???
Source via
Web MD
