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  • Diary of a Skinny Girl
    Diary of a Skinny Girl
    by Salatha Helton

 

Friday
Jan202012

Are all men con-artist?

The morning of 5am...

I received the strangest call from a good friend asking me if I could pretend to be his wife.  I've never been asked such a request in my life.  But, seeing how I have known him for more than 10 years, I was interested in hearing why. 

He told me that, he met this chick who was "fat and ugly" and he change his mind on pursuing her.  "You can't fucking tell her this yourself?" I asked him.  He wasn't at all interested in what I had to say.  In fact, he seemed insulted.  He told me that he met her at a bar, but changed his mind after she sent him a naked picture. 

"When you call her don't say my real name, I told her that my name was Chris," he said.

(SideBar) Now do women have to start asking men to see their Id's?

It was beyond the strangest conversation that I ever had.  And, part of me felt conflicted.  One side of me felt like I should help him out, but the woman in me felt terrible for the girl.  After all, he did lead her on by giving her his number. 

So I ended up calling her.  She quickly answered the phone,

"Hello..."she said.

"Hey, you've been calling my husband and we're trying to work on our marriage, please don't call anymore."  She paused and then replied, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea that he was married.  He never told me that."  She paused again, and then hung up.

After hanging up the phone, it made me wonder if all men are liars.  It also made me wish that I would have made my friend take responsibility and call her himself.

It made me think of all the men in my past, present, and future who are repeat offenders to lying.  

Are all men con-artist by nature?

Thursday
Jan192012

Do I qualify as a hippie???

I think that I’m turning into a freakin hippie.  Seriously.   This shit started last year where I convinced myself that I needed to “go natural.” Hell, EVERY damn black girl I encounter now claims to be creamy crack free.  This is usually how the convo goes.  

 

NO, it’s NOT ME!

 

ME: Whew, I need a perm asap… my hair is shot.  
GIRL: OOO, I don’t use any chemicals in my hair, do you know how bad that ish is for your hair?

Somehow, I feel guilty for wanting to process my kinky natural texture.  So for a year, I was completely natural.  Problem was, “natural” translated into me NEVER combing my damn hair.  It was like I had a bird’s nest on top of my shit, and I was starring in One Flew over The Cuckoo's Nest.  Until recently, I said, fudge that putas.  I broke down and applied the chemicals to my happy to be nappy hair.  Don’t get me wrong…  I love my natural hair.  I wish that my mother never had my aunty process my hair in the first place. 

My first relaxer was when I was 9 years old.  Yes, 9.  I didn’t consistently get a relaxer thereafter, but my hair drastically broke off, and honestly it has NEVER been the same. 

I have pictures of my “natural” texture before all of the processing and I LOVED it, but now… my texture is not the easiest to deal with.  So does relaxing my hair make me less hippie??? I never chemically straighten my hair in hopes of it being “bone straight.”  I just want to be able to loosen up my curl so that I can actually comb it. Ha!

Dammit, I’m trying

No lie, I watched a youtube video one night about the benefits of tea tree oil and I have been addicted ever since.   On everything, at night I smell like a damn medicinal pharmacy.   I initially was only going to use it for my face, but when I discovered that the shit actually worked, all hell broke loose.  I feel sorry for the next relationship I enter, because that man has to accept me for who I fudging am… stanky face and ALL.  Not only have I been addicted to using tea tree oil on my face, but I have now begun using it in my hair.  Hell, if I read that drinking it was beneficial, no lie—I would.   

But, I still LOVE my high heels                                                                                                                                   flat iron, designer clothes, and make-up.  Although, I prefer E.L.F cosmetics over MAC.  And, I use Crystal deodorant.  Well… sorta.  I own Crystal deodorant, but I occasionally sneak and use my Degree deodorant.   I’m trying DAMMIT. 

Look, I consider myself to be a FREE SPIRITED, eclectic music loving, soft spoken (unless you piss me off), poetry loving gal.  I also drink Aloe Vera, once was a vegetarian, contemplating going back, and have probably seen every vegetarian documentary out there.

  So do I qualify as a hippie???           

 

Thursday
Jan192012

Name that Tune...

For the longest, I've been trying to find the artist and name of this song! Can someone please help.  It was featured on Khloe & Lamar's show last year.  And before you post on here, let me tell you who it's not.                     

It's not

98 Degrees
Maxwell
KC & JOJO
R Kelly
Jody McBrayer

If you honestly think that you know who sings this song, please post below.

Besitos.

 

Sunday
Jan152012

A woman should never be caught like this...